Thursday, September 16, 2010

The Kid, The Boy, and The Creature

Announcer 1: “Welcome back viewers and listeners, we are back at the 50th anniversary of the World Series of Poker, 2019. The attitude is really getting heated. You can just feel the tension in the air.”

Announcer 2: “Now if you are just joining us we’re down to the final three players of the final table of the 2019 World Series. Let’s check the standings, Anton?”

Announcer 1: “All right! Current Chip Leader is Billy the Kid, sitting at a little over 45 percent of the chips. He does he have a strong lead.”

Announcer 2: “You’re right about that Anton, He’s climbed to the top of the heap after starting at only sixth.”

Announcer 1: “And that’s not even considering his other disadvantages in this game. Not only is he the shortest player in the game tonight, he’s a clone!”

Announcer 2: “That’s right Anton. Our Billy the Kid is a clone of the original Henry McCarty from the nineteenth century. And that legal status, as well as the need of a booster seat have both worked against him in this game so far. But with some truly spectacular bluffs earlier on, he’s turned the whole thing around and even has a solid shot at winning.”

Announcer 1: “But let’s not get all caught up here John. The second player, sitting at just under 30 percent of the chips is English Poker Star Roy, “The Boy” Brindley.”

Announcer 2: “I’ve got to say, as the only player at the table left who has ever won a World Series, he’s not doing quite as well as he’d hoped I bet.”

Announcer 1: “No indeed John. But he’s gone from short stack, last in chips to our listeners, at the start of the final table to middle of the final three, that’s still a major accomplishment. Not to mention he is sitting comfortably over one of the early chip leaders in the final table.”

Announcer 2: “That’s right! Our short stack and the only non-human at the table is The Creature from the Black Lagoon. He started the table third in the chips but is now only holding at 25 percent. Nicknamed ‘Gill-man’ by some of the spectators, the Creature from the Black Lagoon is a relative newcomer to our competition, having only been discovered and introduced to human society in early 2016.”

Announcer 1: “He’s certainly come a long way hasn’t he John. Well, it looks like they are getting ready to get back into it.”

Announcer 2: [in a hushed voice] “And here is the deal. Two cards to a player. Let’s see what they got.”

Announcer 1: [also in a hushed voice] “The Creature has a 9 and a Queen of Hearts. The Boy has a 6 and a 2 of clubs and the Kid is holding a pocket pair of 7s, clubs and diamonds. This far in, the Big Blind bet is 100 thousand so that’s a hefty pot already.”

Announcer 2: “A little bit of early bidding, the Creature looks confident, and the pot is straddling 500k at the Flop. For those listeners not familiar with Poker, the Flop is the first three open cards, followed by the Turn, and the River, the fourth and fifth cards. The tension is palpable at the final table.”

Announcer 1: “And here is the flop. Ouch. A 4 and a Jack of Spades and an 8 of diamonds. That’s not much to work on, the Kid has the odds but the turn and the river are still hanging overhead.”

Announcer 2: “And the Boy folds, cutting his losses at the flop! Can’t blame him, a six and a two don’t hold much water at this point. Plus he’s got the chips to weather the loss.”

Announcer 1: “And the Kid is bidding it up a 400k bid, that’s up to a 900k pot. He’s trying to push but the Creature isn’t backing down and matches the bid, the pot is 1.3mil at the Turn. And the Turn is…”

Announcer 2: “A three of hearts, that’s not a good sign for the Creature. He’s got a solid hand but that pair of sevens the Kid has is still the winning combo. But the Creature puts up another 200k! He’s shooting for that straight Queen though 8. I wouldn’t take those odds if I were him. The Kid calls the bid and here is the River.”

Announcer 1: “It’s a 10 of clubs! The Creature managed to pull one out! That’s a Straight 8 through Queen. The Kid looks unfazed. He’s still got the lead in the chips but now the Boy is short stack.”

Announcer 2: “Wow Anton that was a turnaround. The odds were not on for the Creature there but he still managed to pull out a coup.”

Announcer 1: “Indeed, John. That win should give him the chips to push against the Boy in the next hand. And here is the next deal.”

Announcer 2: “Looks rather flat this time, Anton. The Kid has a split hand, a 2 and a Queen of Spades while both the Creature and the Boy have only numbers.”

Announcer 1: “7 and 2 of Spades and Clubs for the Boy and a 6 and 3 of Hearts for the Creature. The Creature doesn’t look like he will sit back though; he’s bidding the pot up to 500k already!”

Announcer 2: “And the flop is a 6 of diamonds, a 2 of clubs, and a King of hearts. That leaves the creature in the lead with a pair of sixes and the Kid with a pair of twos.”

Announcer 1: “Not his strongest position John.”

Announcer 2: “And the Creature bids 300k, raising the pot to 800k. And it seems too rich for the Boy’s blood and he folds.”

The Boy: [overloud from a microphone] “I swear to god I never get lucky with this bollocks, never.”

Announcer 1: “But the Kid isn’t flinching and he raises the Creature, bringing the pot to 1.4 million. And the turn is… Ouch, the turn is a Queen of Clubs. That brings the Kid into the lead with a two pair, twos and queens.”

Announcer 2: “That split hand is really working for him tonight Anton.”

Announcer 1: “The Creature is not backing down either. He has been showing some real aggressive betting in these games. He bids another 400k, and the Kid matches it, bringing the pot to a little over two million! Now let’s see how this one will end. And the River is…”

Announcer 2: “My god, it’s a six of Spades! The Creature pulls it out with a three of a kind!”

Announcer 1: “Now that’s a turnaround John, the creature is heading for chip leader now. The Kid is not looking happy I can tell you.”

The Kid: [with a little reverb] “Blast it. Stupid muckperson gettin’ all the good cards.”

Announcer 2: “And here is the next hand. The Creature is trailing in this hand with a 4 and a 3 of hearts. The Boy has a King and Ace of Diamonds Pair and the Kid standing with a King and a 4 of Spades and Diamonds. And there he goes being aggressive again, the Creature is already bidding a 3x Big Blind. And the flop is a 7 a 9 and a 3.”

Announcer 1: “That three gives the Creature the advantage here. And he is using it with another 300k bid.”

Announcer 2: “The kid folds, even with that Ace, he’s not willing the challenge the Creature.”

Announcer 1: “A smart move here John. Just look at the creature smiling. Chilling.”

Announcer 2: “And the turn is a 5. Oh my and the creature is really pushing with a 10x Big Blind bid. And the Boy folds, not surprising, the creature just added a million to the pot; no one is going to challenge that at that stage. The creature is really moving in on the Kid.”

Announcer 1: “And the next hand is dealt. The Creature looks to be strong again in this one with a pair of 3s, against the Kid with a King and a 4, and the Boy with a Jack and a 10 of Diamonds. And the Creature is raring to go with a 500k before the flop. The Boy and the Kid Match for a pot of 1.8 mil before the flop. And the flop is a 3 of Spades, and a Queen and a 9 of Diamonds.”

Announcer 2: “That brings the Creature to three of a kind but the Boy has the makings of a straight flush, Queen to 9 of diamonds! The Creature pushes with a 300k bid and the Boy Raises! That’s for a pot of 2.7 million! The Kid matches, raising it to 3.3 million! That turn better be worth it. And…. It is!”

Announcer 1: “A 8 of diamonds! That gives the Boy a Straight Flush! The Creature has a three of a kind and is just unwilling to let the hand go. He bids another million on top! That’s a pot of 4.3 million! That’s almost a eighth of the whole table.”

Announcer 2: “Oh MY! The Boy is going All In after that bid, that’s up to a pot of almost 15 million. He is really riding in on that Straight Flush and-“

Announcer 1: “And the Creature is matching it! What does he think he is doing?”

Announcer 2: “It’s that aggression again; he must think that the Boy is bluffing him! Losing this could turn the game around for both him and the Boy. We’ve got some backtalk as well, listen in!”

The Kid: [slightly overloud] “You’se a crazy loon gil-man. I ain’t stupid enough to stay. I fold.”

Announcer 2: “I don’t fault him one bit; that aggression on the Creature’s part is going to end this game hard. And here comes the River…”

Announcer 1: [Shouting] “And it’s a 3! That means the creature has Four of a Kind! And that is it for the Boy!”

Announcer 2: “Wow and he does not look happy Anton, look at him leave the table without a word. That was a wound and no doubt. Turning over a Straight Flush like that. That brings the Creature to almost 57% of the chips.”

Announcer 1: “Well here we are at a break; listen up for some words from our sponsors and we’ll be back in a jiffy!”

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Announcer 1: “And we are back! Two short hands during the break have left us almost tied between our two final competitors. The Dealing is already under way. What does it look like John?”

Announcer 2: “The Creature is at an early strength with a pair of nines, and the Kid is holding onto a King and a Jack, both of clubs. And the Creature is off to its usual antics with an immediate million dollar push. The kid matches and we head into the flop with a 2.2 million pot.”

Announcer 1: “The flop is a Queen and a 10 of Clubs and a 9 of Hearts. That’s a Straight for the Kid and three of a kind for the Creature. It’s looking to be a rather heated hand. The Kid looks like he is going to raise, bringing the pot to a 4.2 million high-“

Announcer 2: “And the Creature is raising as well! The Pot is at a whopping 8.2 million as we head into the turn! And the turn is…”

Announcer 1: “And the Turn is a 9 of clubs! That gives the Kid a straight flush, but the Creature now holds his second four of a kind this table. What are the odds?”

Announcer 2: “Not high Anton. Now the Creature raises again, taking the pot to 14.2 million and- The Kid is going all IN!”

Announcer 1: “Ouch, he does have a straight flush, and the Creature has been known to make some heavy bluffs but this might be the end of it.”

Announcer 2: “The Creature goes all in to match; he isn’t backing down with a four of a kind, so it’s time for the River.”

[Several long seconds of absolute silence]

Announcer 1: [Practically Screaming] “And it’s an Ace of Clubs! That’s a Royal Flush! The Kid wins the Championship! I Can’t Believe It!”

Announcer 2: “And so ends the 50th anniversary of the World Series of Poker! What a turnaround! Royal Flush beats Four of a Kind. This match may well go down in the history of the World Series! Billy the Kid wins!

Announcer 1: “John, look at that!”

Announcer 2: “Uh oh! The Creature from the Black Lagoon is attacking Billy the Kid! He just leaped across the table! Security is coming in to stop him but… Oh wow he just threw that guard twenty feet! What an arm!”

Announcer 1: “John, Look out, he’s coming this way!”

Announcer 2: “What the-“

[A resounding crash of breaking glass, a roar, and then static]

End.